Scribbles from Sandy

You'd think...

2011-02-13T20:18:00.000-08:00

That at some point this stuff would stop surprising me or hurting my feelings. I know that my family doesn't act right. I know that they are completely dysfunctional, and yet, the weirdness always seems to sneak up on me and hurt me when I least expect it. It sucks dirt and it makes me tired.

Maybe one day they'll develop a shot for this so I won't be so sick of it anymore.

Birthday Ruminations

2011-01-08T20:31:00.000-08:00

So I'm going to be 42 tomorrow. That sounds freaky to say, but I'm not worried about it. It just sounds a whole lot more adult than I feel most of the time. The truth is, I'm not afraid of growing older. I'm more concerned about growing old well. Healthy. In my right mind.

There's this adorable little woman who goes to my gym. She's 76, goes to Zumba every Thursday evening and drives the hottest candy-apple red Mustang. THAT's how I I want to be old. More fabulous by the day. Enjoying life and making the most of every minute. I want my legacy to be love and utter fabulosity! :)

Here's to another year. Here's to another box of haircolor and a jar of good eye cream. Bring on the years. I'm more than fabulous enough to handle ya!

New Year's Thoughts

2010-12-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

Geez, can you believe that we're at the end of another year? Another decade for Heaven's sake! That's just freaky beyond belief. In 2000, I was a new mom and just into my thirties.

Dayum! LOL

So what have I learned this year? I've learned that I need to continue my efforts to take better care of me. I need to be a better steward of my emotional health as well as my physical health. I'm not journaling (here or anywhere else) nearly as much as I should be. Putting words down has always been a powerful tool for me. It helps me to work out stuff. I need to get back to that.

Welcome 2011. I'm a healthy, happy 42yo mom of a gorgeous 11yo girl. I have a great job that I like (most days) and I have a terrific husband who loves me. I have many more blessings than my hands or heart can hold. God is so good.

I want to keep my priorities straight and make sure I put my own needs on that list. As a woman, I'm a caregiver. Just need to make sure that some of that care trickles down to me. :)

Here's wishing all of you a healthy, happy and safe New Year. May God richly bless you with all you need and a big ole dose of what you want.

Christmas lights

2010-12-12T20:52:00.000-08:00

Is there really anything more gorgeous or relaxing than looking at the Christmas lights in your living room when everyone else has gone to bed?

It's the little things that are the bestest.

What the season is...

2010-12-07T19:38:00.000-08:00

... and what it isn't.

It IS about Jesus. How would you feel if no one acknowledged it was YOUR birthday?

It's NOT about 84,000 parties, 83,995 of which you couldn't care less about attending.

It IS about family and love.

It's NOT about having unreasonable expectations. Norman Rockwell probably had no intention of making everyone miserable with his paintings. He was just painting a picture. Not setting the bar for normalcy.

It's about celebrating that Jesus came and what He came to do with the people who mean the most to us.

Casting Crowns-"Praise You In This Storm" (live)

2010-11-11T19:48:00.000-08:00

This is one of the best songs ever and a perfect one for a bad day... or a bad string of days. It was written in honor of a woman who's daughter was dying of cancer, and who chose to trust God even when her whole world was falling apart.

If she can do it, I certainly can. I'm not facing anything CLOSE to that.

I trust God... that He knows what He's doing and that He loves me.

Kutless - What Faith Can Do

2010-11-07T17:55:00.000-08:00

This is such an amazing song. Had to share. It's where my heart is today.

Sometimes...

2010-11-03T19:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes...

You just have to realize that you have limits.
You have to ask for help even when you don't want to.
You have to understand that you can't control everything in your environment.
You realize that God is much better at His job than you are.
You learn that you're not, in fact, 10 feet tall and bulletproof.
You figure out that your own problems are not as big as you imagine.
You relinquish your title as Chief Executive Maker of Mountains from Molehills.
You just take a deep breath and rest.

Stressful...

2010-10-26T19:35:00.000-07:00

Work has been really crazy lately and I'm not really dealing with it very well. Just trying to deal as best I can without jacking with my healthy lifestyle.

Why is it that you want to eat copious amounts of chocolate when you have a crappy day? LOL

YOGA!

2010-10-11T19:35:00.001-07:00

Okay, I am getting completely hooked on my yoga class!

I started taking yoga because I knew I needed to add some strength training to my exercise routine, but I loathe... yes LOATHE, working on those inferal weight machines at the gym. BO---RING!

So I started taking a Monday night yoga class with a friend at my gym. I've been going for over a month now and I'm loving it. It's relaxing, even helps with a headache, AND my arms are getting totally toned. SCORE!

Who knew I'd get all zen and stuff? LOL

WOW!

2010-09-26T17:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy busy week. Miss Ashlyn turned 11 this week. I know it's true, but at the same time it just seems too ridiculous to be real. It can't be 11 years already... could it????

I think things have finally quieted down for the moment. Dinner dishes are done. Laundry in the dryer. Husband lounging in the tub. Kiddo in the other room watching something produced by Disney and Momma's on her laptop ALONE with her big ole dawg. It's nice to have some alone time. Some "nobody needs me at this second" time.

Hopefully this week will be a little less hectic. I haven't been doing really well in the taking-care-of-myself department. Gotta do better on that.

Sometimes you just have to...

2010-09-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

... take a break from the routine and just focus on taking care of yourself. Get out of your own way and just go with the flow instead of fighting the current tooth & nail.

This is that time for me. I've been kicking and screaming and just making no progress, so I'm giving myself a break from the norm and just chilling out.

Simon's Cat in 'The Box'

2010-09-09T20:22:00.000-07:00

This is SO my cat! :D

I'm pretty proud of myself...

2010-09-06T15:06:00.000-07:00

So we went to the Delta Fair today. In the past, the Fair equaled a food-free-for-all. Today, I did really good. I had a Italian sausage sandwich with peppers and onions, a Diet Coke, and a sugar free snow cone. I rock! :D

This Whole Grown Up Thing...

2010-08-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

... is completely overrated. Just sayin...

Why is it that we spend our childhoods wishing that we can be grown up so we can do whatever we want just to find out that being grownup DOES NOT mean doing whatever you want.

We were ROBBED, People!

Matt Maher - Hold us together with lyrics

2010-08-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

I know I'm posting a boatload of videos lately, but music is really speaking to me as of late. This song is really powerful to me. It talks about what's really important and taking care of one another. I can't really add anything more significant than that...

Cooler Weather!

2010-08-26T20:52:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a really long time it was UNDER 100 degrees! It was a lovely 87 today in Memphis and I was actually able to enjoy being outside without becoming a sweaty, disgusting mess.

This evening I met a friend at Starbucks. We sat on the patio with our iced lattes and had a really great visit. Good friends, good coffee, great weather. A wonderful day.

Jason Gray - More Like Falling In Love

2010-08-23T18:24:00.000-07:00

This song really speaks to me today.

Sunday, Sunday...

2010-08-22T17:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, so weigh in today Weight Watchers sucked dirt... and it's my own fault. This past week was an eating nightmare and not so great on the workout front either. I let stress rule me instead of taking control of my emotions. I let the food be in charge and I know better. You'd think that after doing WW for 2 years, I'd stop the emotional eating thing. I guess it just goes to show that it's always going to be a continuing struggle. It's easy to fall back into old habits and old mindsets.

I could sit back and beat myself up over this, but it wouldn't be productive. I have to forgive myself, learn from it and move on.

Amy Grant - Better Than A Hallelujah (Slideshow With Lyrics)

2010-08-21T18:01:00.000-07:00

Mandisa - The Definition of Me

2010-08-18T18:36:00.000-07:00

I first fell in love with Mandisa when she was teh "heavy girl" on American Idol. This song should be blasted from every woman/girl's speakers. It's about TRUE BEAUTY.

The Words I Would Say - Sidewalk Prophets [lyrics]

2010-08-16T18:23:00.000-07:00

2010-08-16T18:21:00.000-07:00

There's a certain liberty in exhaustion. You stop trying to be all things to all people and you finally give up enough to recharge and relax. Strange, right?

Trusting...

2010-08-13T18:30:00.001-07:00

Sometimes talking about trusting God and ACTUALLY trusting God are two totally different things. It's easier when it's all academic. It's hard when the rubber actually meets the road.

We like it better when things are easy and you can see how it's all going to work out. It makes sense. It's logical and ascertainable. Unfortunately, life is rarely like that. Surprises happen, and sometimes they're not happy ones. Stuff happens that we don't expect and screws up our plans. BUT...

We have to remember that even though we were caught unawares, God was not. He knows the end from the beginning and he knows not only what will happen but how he's going to get us on the other side, wiser than we were before we started.

This faith thing is always worth it, but sometimes it's not all that easy.

Francesca Battistelli - Beautiful, Beautiful (Video)

2010-08-11T19:57:00.000-07:00

Instant Perspective Check...

2010-08-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

Just when you think the world revolves around you and you have stuff hard, you hear something that snaps you back to reality.

A lady I've become friends with online has been struggling with breast cancer for the last few months. She received chemo, but it was not effective. Now she's dealing with an inoperable brain tumor and aggressively growing tumors. She's young, married and has a young son who's about three.

WOW! This is one of those moments when you realize that we really have nothing to complain about. What's going on with me is nothing cataclysmic. Nothing that will alter anyone's life in the long run. It's not life and death. It's just stuff.

Father God, I lift up Sharon to you and ask you for her complete and total healing. Help me, Lord, to always remember what's important and what's not. AMEN.

Happy Sunday!

2010-08-01T10:19:00.000-07:00

Today was a great service at church. You know, one of those services where the message and the music were just what you needed. God is good.

Onion Rings

2010-07-28T19:47:00.001-07:00

A wise person once said, "Life is like an onion. It has lots of layers and sometimes it makes you cry." That statement so describes my past weekend.

Sometimes you think you've dealt with things in your past. Finished. Ovah! Kaput! Then.... something happens that just rips the scab off the wound. Wounds that you would have sworn were healed. To say that I have some complicated family relationships would be the understatement of the year. I spent a lot of time with some family I haven't seen in a long time and it was weird and good simultaneously.

Instead of letting it derail me, I'm going to view this whole thing as God's using the situation to do an even deeper healing. To completely put stuff to bed. To view these relationships in a new way in new place of maturity.

Onion Rings, anyone? :D

Some days are just like that...

2010-07-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

Today was one of "those days." It was stressful on many fronts. I handled some of it well and some of it... not so much. Luckily most all of it is over and resolved, so it's all good.

As Scarlett says, "Tomorrow IS another day." :D

Loving my Kindle!

2010-07-21T20:01:00.001-07:00

A dear friend of mine got me a Kindle as a gift. I am LOVIN' IT! I've discovered all these great, FREE books that you can download on the Kindle. Mostly classics, but that's cool. There are lots of those books I've never read. Right now I'm reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Somehow, I got through high school without ever reading it. It's AMAZING. Much better than I expected. Much better than any of those goofy B movies that we've all seen.

I've downloaded about 40 books so far... all freebies. My next selection will be Bram Stoker's Dracula. Then it I'll be on to some Jane Austen.

Kindle ROCKS!

Poolside!

2010-07-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. Headed to the gym for a great workout. 60 minutes on the bike and a 1-mile walk/jog. Then headed to the pool for some light swimming and some sunshine. Much needed me time. Came home for some light lunch and a great nap.

I love Staycation. I've needed this for a long time and just didn't realize how much. I've got to make taking care of me a bigger priority. There's got to be a balance for Mom to take care of everyone and still take care of herself.

Work day!

2010-07-14T20:58:00.000-07:00

The Wednesday Edition of Sandy's Staycation diary brings us to the first day of the "Mom by herself" portion of our program.

Today I concentrated on getting my house deep cleaned and my homework done. I'm taking an online class and I wanted to get this week's assignments done so that I can concentrate on spending the rest of my week in complete and utter relaxation. :D

As far as the Weight Watchers thing goes, I'm not really counting points this week. I'm still eating well and making sure I'm getting all my Good Health Guidelines, but I'm not writing everything down and religiously counting points. One: I'm on vacation and I'm not into it. Two: I need a new three month journal. I'll get a new one at meeting this weekend.

Tomorrow will be a trip to the gym for a good old-fashioned butt kickin' workout then off to the pool to relax and soak up some sun.

Night all!

Tuesday Tales

2010-07-13T16:04:00.001-07:00

Today was a day at the pool. Got some great sunshine in and some swimming in with the kiddo. Now off to make some sketti with garlic bread. It's what's for dinner. ;D

Monday, Monday... Staycation Edition

2010-07-12T18:56:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day even though it was rainy. Kiddo and I are spending a couple of days of my vacation together doing the Mom/Daughter thing. Today we went to a really fun museum called the Pink Palace. It's a converted old mansion that's full of great exhibits of all kinds. History, science, planetarium, an IMAX theater. Verah cool.

After being duly cultured, we headed to Bookstar and Kohl's for some good ole retail therapy. Ended our day with some cheeseburgers and sweet potato fries.

Not a bad way to start off our week, right?

Tomorrow we're planning swimming if the weather holds up.

Staycation!

2010-07-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

So today O-fficially begins my STAY-cation. Just chilling out at home and relaxing for the week. Taking a much needed break from the daily routine. Getting back to basics and taking care of me.

Kiddo and I are taking a couple of days to have some mom/daughter time and then I'm taking the rest of the week to be completely and utterly selfish. :D

2010-06-18T19:23:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I posted anything here. It's been a busy time in my life lately. I'm back to school to finish up my paralegal degree and I'm busier than I've been in a long time. Struggling a little bit with balance, although I'll admit that the online class thing I'm doing this summer is much easier than two nights a week at school. Of course, I learned really fast NOT to take classes on Mondays & Tuesdays. :D

I'll do my very bestest to be better at keeping this thing up. It's good for me to get my thoughts down.

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

2010-03-09T18:48:00.000-08:00

I love the rain, but I absolutely hate the way it makes my head feel. Having weather patterns as a migraine trigger sucks! I'm a walking barometer. A thankless job, if you ask me.

On a brighter note, I did get the wretched Courts and Procedures paper done today. I still have some proofreading to do, but the hardest part is over. Now it's just spit and polish. YAY! Now I can get started on my pro bono paper for Ethics and start on my group project research. Remind me again why I wanted to go back to school... :D

I'm really thankful that this week is Spring Break. I needed some time to get caught back up and get organized. I was feeling incredibly tired and completely out of control. I hate out of control... and overwhelmed. Overwhelmed sucks. I'm the mom, I'm' supposed to be in control, right? LOL

Now I'm kicked back, watching The Biggest Loser. I hate that Jillian's team has to eliminate someone, but I love watching the "Transformation Moments." I'm a sucker for a new beginning.

After the show, I'm going to FB for awhile and then chill out in a hot bath.

Peace out, Y'all! :D

Thankfulness

2010-01-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

Sitting here under my Snuggie (yes, I drank the Koolaid) in a warm house watching it snow outside has had a good effect on me. First, I've relaxed more this weekend than I have in a long time. Instead of running for our lives, we've stayed home and rested. I think we've all taken more naps then any of us would have admitted that we needed.

Second, I am waxing very philosophical and I realize how incredibly fortunate we are. As I said, I'm in a warm house, under a warm blanket with sleeves, typing on a laptop, watching an HD TV, snuggling with my family and pets. What in the world do I have to whine about? We've had plenty of good food at our disposal. On Monday, I will return to a job that I actually like and am good at. My husband will return to work at a job he enjoys as well. Our daughter is happy and healthy and normal.

I think of all the people that are so much less fortunate than I am and it makes me thankful for every thing I have. I might not have the biggest and best things or have a closet full of designer duds, but I have so much more than I even need. My pets live better than some people in this world. They are warm and safe and well fed.

Thank you, Lord, for all your blessings. Make me more conscious of what I can do to be a blessing to someone else.

It's a new year...

2010-01-11T18:55:00.001-08:00

We've celebrated New Year's and I've celebrated a birthday. It get two celebrations within a week of each other, which I love because I'm a complete sucker for new beginnings. Fresh starts. Clean slates.

SO... what do I intend to do with said clean slate? What is on the agenda for my 41st year on Planet Earth?

First, I want to finally make my goal weight. I'm over halfway through, so I'd like to hit Lifetime status at Weight Watchers. It's not been a quick fix by any stretch, but I have made habits that will last a lifetime and will keep this stuff off for good.

Second, I'm starting school next week to finish up my degree. It's been a bit of unfinished business that has bothered me for a long time. Granted, I have a great job and I really don't NEED to finish, but it's something I really want to do. You never know when you'll need it to fall back on or what God might be preparing me for in the future.

Spiritually, I want to be more serious about my prayer life and Bible reading. It's easy to talk about that stuff, but it's whole other thing to actually get that done. It's the foundation on which everything else is built. God isn't going to take me to a new place if I don't have that part of my life in order.

So there you go. My resolutions, so to speak.

What do you have in mind for 2010?

It's All about Choices...

2009-11-29T18:56:00.001-08:00

What will you choose?
You can choose to be angry
OR...
You can choose to bask in God's presence.

You can't do both.

Monday, Monday...

2009-11-16T20:06:00.001-08:00

Some days are just destined to be less than stellar.
This is one of those days...
Those who know better... and yet...
It's frustrating.
The same old song and dance.
The same old routine.
The same old frustration.
Step right up ladies and gents,
for our personal version of
Ground Hog Day...
Cue Bill Murray...
over and over and over and over and over.....

At some point, wouldn't it make more sense to get off the ride if it makes you miserable?

Back in the saddle...

2009-10-26T18:09:00.000-07:00

Today I'm getting back to being completely on program in Weight Watchers which includes getting exercise everyday. I've been a complete slob in that department lately. I'm not back to doing an hour plus, but I did get a good half hour walk in with with Miss Buddie the Wonder Dog. Baby steps right?

This weekend is the Race for the Cure and I don't want to be completely worn out after the race or sore for three days. LOL Plus, I want to get back to my losing ways. I've held steady for like a month, which is good because I'm not gaining, but I'm not to the maintenance stage yet. I've still got weight to lose.

Stay tuned....

Overwhelmed...

2009-10-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

It's just one of those days when there's too much stuff and not enough me. One of those days when I want to run away from home because I'm sick to death of people needing something from me.

It's official... I'm whining. :D

Just a day when allergies and too-full a plate is getting to me.

Nite, Blogosphere. Momma's headed to bed.

Sometimes...

2009-10-19T20:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes what you expected is not what you get.
Sometimes what you get is exactly what you expected, but not what you wanted.
Sometimes what you need is elusive.
Sometimes what you need is impossible.
Sometimes ... it's just hard.
It's always worth it, but not always easy.

TGIF

2009-10-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy week. I'm ready for a restful weekend. Hopefully, I'll get one. :P

Tomorrow Bill and I are going to be donating platelets so that's a couple of hours of complete veg-out down time.

We're also planning on going to see Where the Wild Things Are. Loved that book. Gotta see the movie.

Just need some down time to relax and chill. It's been very emotional and exhausting lately. I'm ready for some good ole normal.

Sorry it's been so long...

2009-10-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

Life's just been completely wacky at my house and I just haven't had the time or inclination to write.

Baby Girl fell victim to H1N1 the day after her 10th birthday. :( Everything turned out just fine thanks to her fantabulous doc and Tamiflu, but it was a rough few days.

It just seems like it's been one thing after another lately. Very overwhelming and exhausting; however, things are slowly but surely working themselves out... as they always do in the end. Stuff never lasts forever... it just feels like forever while you're in the middle of it.

On the weightloss front, I'm down a total of 65 pounds, but I'm at a plateau both physically and mentally. Seems like I get to this point and flake every time. I'm working at pushing past the mental issues and finally make it to the Promised Land. LOL

It's late and I'm headed to bed. Nite, Blogosphere. See ya later... and I promise to try and not make it so long until next time.

10th Birthday!

2009-09-23T19:25:00.000-07:00

Today is my baby girl's 10th birthday. It's a bittersweet thing. I'm completely thrilled that she's happy, healthy and completely normal, but it's also sad that it's going by so quickly.

Doesn't seem that long ago that I was in Baptist Hospital holding my sweet girl in my arms. Now she's very grown and very independent.

I'm very proud of the person she's becoming. She's smart, funny and knows her own mind. She's quickly turning into a person I would so be friends with. For that, I'm incredibly grateful.

Happy Birthday, Doodlebug. Your mom loves you so much!

Hard to deal sometimes...

2009-09-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

It's been a wacky week. Learned some things about a situation that I would have preferred to not know... that's the funny thing about knowledge. You can't unknow. You can't go back there. That's the hard part. It was my fantasy... and I liked it. Knowledge is power. It can have a powerful effect for good or for bad.

A New Beginning.

2009-09-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

It's been a wacky couple of weeks. Definitely got off track, both in terms of my eating, exercise and spiritual stuff. I've let circumstances dictate me instead of the other way around. I think i was just in severe survival mode. Just getting through it instead of managing my own life.

Today, I got back on track with eating. Back to tracking my points. Went to weigh in. Surprisingly no gain. The fact that I maintained is pretty incredible.

Tomorrow, I'll hit the gym again, and I'll get back to regular devotions.

Gotta do what's right for me in order to take care of everyone else.

Busy bees!

2009-08-29T19:35:00.001-07:00

Busy day today. Cleaned the house. Shopped for food for a baby shower. Prepared for my Sunday School class.

Feeling a little better after the migraine hell of yesterday, but still a little groggy. It's been a bad few days for allergies, and I think that probably had something to do with it.

I'm really excited about Becca's shower tomorrow. I really want everything to go well. I want her to have a wonderful day.

Migraines suck out loud!

2009-08-28T17:45:00.001-07:00

I stayed home today from work with the migraine from the 10th level of hell. Sucks out loud. It's 7:45 right now, and I'm still not right. I'm so tired I could go to bed right now and I've slept all day. BLECH!

The one upside of the day is that I finally caught myself up on TrueBlood. HBO On Demand is a beautiful thing. Day time TV is so awful. Househusbands of Hollywood? Are you kidding me? Seriously? Gotta be a sign of the apocalypse! LOL

Headed to a hot bath and some more drugs. Hoping for a better weekend.

2009-08-27T19:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there are just those days where everything is just destined to get on your nerves. The fact that people insist on breathing in and out in your presence is annoying. That is the day I'm having. The kind of day where you just want to chill out on a desert island with the nice cabana boy bringing you pink drinks with umbrellas to match.

I'd like to take a vacation. A long vacation. A vacation at a spa... an all you can facial spa.

Sup Y'all?

2009-08-26T19:14:00.000-07:00

Just thought it might be time to finally join the 21st century and start a blog. I've attempted this a couple of times, but it always seems to fizzle out. Actually, my access from work fizzles out and I wimp out. Now that I have a cool beans phone with internet access and mahverahown laptop, I can be a little more diligent about keeping this thing updated.

So what will this be about? Who knows? A little of this and a little of that. Observations. Annoyances. Probably a lot of random stuff that pops into my twisted brain. I'm in the middle of a weight loss journey with Weight Watchers, so there will probably be some stuff about that too. Hard to tell. :D

Welcome to the mental mess known as my mind. LOL